I am the father of two boys, Bailey and Grayson, ages 5 and 9, respectively. I see myself as a good father, but not all the time. My main struggle, as with many dads, is that my kids do not listen to simple instructions. I am sure they see these instructions as orders in some ways, but isn’t that part of growing up? I do feel that I am too harsh on some items or rules. I am trying to work through my struggles.

Parenting to me is about taking care of and providing for your children. Showing or guiding them in the right direction. Establishing good communication with your kids is imperative towards their ability to learn and communicate with others. I sometimes find myself yelling at them, sometimes it is valid, and sometimes it is not. I do see that they pick up my traits, again, some good, some bad.

Can a book on parenting help me? Should I read more about the correct method of parenting? Aren’t these books from the author’s point of view and the way he or she acts towards their children? That is my struggle about reading parenting books. What makes these individuals correct? Maybe it is their education! I see it like this, I parent as my parents did, some of that is good, some not so good. If I see that something that I learned from my parents is not working then I fine tune or change that process of parenting all together.

Have you ever hated yourself for something that you have said or may have done to your kid which really upsets you inside? I do all the time and honestly it hurts. I sometimes look into the mirror and hate myself for what I did or how I acted. One thing that I have completely stopped is spanking my kids all together. Sure I thought that this worked early on, but it really never accomplished anything, except inflicting pain. The main reason that I stopped this is due to me not knowing my own strength and I did not want to really hurt them one day. Also since their young brains are constantly in learning stage and I do not want them to exercise this same trait when they have children of their own.

Another item that I constantly struggle with spending quality time with my two boys and this is something that I am improving on. I used to spend tons of time, when I got home from work, in front of my computer. I no longer do this, I see this having negative impact on their behavior, and this is something that I cannot live with.

I want and always will want my kids to feel safe and happy, that is what I try to instill in Bailey and Grayson. I want to see the smiles on their face, I want them to be glad that I am home; I want them to tell me that they love me. That is the joy in being a dad, but do not get me wrong, parenting is an ongoing learning experience.